BURQUELAND

Burqueños—I love you and miss you and I didn’t realize how big my heart could feel until I left and returned, left and returned, left and went halfway—stop, turn around back and returned—I miss seeing Bradford stealing Zendo’s WiFi and Claudia’s smile for a thousand miles the second you step into the door at 516, I miss John Morgan’s big laugh and the way Beth’s eyes get real big when you say you played flute in high school (join the flute loops and touch god in the Guild theatre), I miss how Keif calls me KOB and my dear friend Luke Blondie, KOB and Blondie, KOB and Blondie, only because one time they wore a Blondie shirt to see a bad German art house film—I miss the sunsets. I miss A Good Sign and Tami and Julie and how small Small-bu-quer-que gets—did you know they know my old boss Paul? I miss the way he talks about the apocalypse, all smiles—I even miss that job, housing authority, government, can you imagine? I miss bingo with the MFA ladies, I left BINGO to get an MFA, I left Joel and Scout, all conspiracies and all love and Joel won’t you learn to believe in yourself? I miss a bowl on the couch with Lance, wisdom from zen master Chuy, I miss welches fruit snacks with Jess, I miss how I can never tell if Josh is joking. Nico do you remember when Mimo found you? Hot as a tin roof and hotter inside BINGO than out and it was love at first sight. I miss throwing plates in the glass graveyard, tweety bird flying at sunset, happy new year—I miss the river. I miss flowing fluid between the mundane and the cosmos, Katrina, as we touch computer for money like everyone else at Michael Thomas, all the while fighting AI takeover and the toaster oven. Will we ever find the mountain, Ameerah, and does it matter? Cigarette back porch speaking koans to dogs and deciphering the language of boys, I miss sitting in silence with you. Tori, do you know how big my heart gets every time you post a story of a rug, of those ground level blankets that hold us, hold us, hold our stories, hold lifetimes, through the night and into the dawn? Dancing the whole night down with you and Lana and Rebecca, I didn’t know the sound of joy until we shuffled, sticky monsoon Still Spirits nights. Rebecca, do you know how easy world feels when we dance down central, lowrider hydrolic hearts going bombombom. Las flores nunca lloraban cuando volábamos. Let’s fix all the locks, Adri, in all the bars downtown, you and I and our merry band of carpenters. What I had and what I squandered, what I had and what I squandered—I miss you Albuquerque, I miss the river and the mesa, I miss secret tunnels through Russian olive thicket, secret sharing with Lea, my guiding light. I miss running in the bosque, miles and miles and then Waffle House, or maybe salchipapas at taco bus. Aaron, your heart makes the world feel seen. I miss the view of the world west of the mountains from Elena Gallegos, heart flying on the wing of a wisp of a cloud and every Sunday on Juan Tabo and Tramway we fly, fly with the exhale of the world, DJ Tbone and Nicole and David and Ron and all the rest, fly into the big sky above Burqueland, I love you, I love you, I love you—